Till Death Do Us Walmart
Okay, so this isn’t a dream wedding: No flowers, no reception, no guests even. But on the flip side, if the wedding registry was done with Walmart, then this couple is killing two birds with one stone: They get to pick up their wedding gifts right after saying I do.
Did They Say Face Masks?
With the world in the grip of the COVID-19 pandemic, the powers at Walmart are covering every possible corner to ensure they keep their staff and customers safe while working and shopping. This includes a mandatory rule of wearing of protective facemasks while in-store.
Monkey Business
Notice the way this monkey seamlessly blends into the bag it’s in? This woman knows she’s breaking Walmart rules. While the franchise allows service animals into their establishments, according to the American with Disabilities Act, a service animal is a DOG trained to assist a person with DISABILITIES.
Driving Miss Lazy
Walmart stores are huge, with the average store size 105,000 square feet. That’s a lot of ground to cover even for able-bodied people, and this is why Walmart provides motorized shopping carts for their disabled customers.
Despite the criteria, store staff usually take people at their word when handing out the carts. The result? Well, a lot of “disabled” people taking the more comfortable option to get around the store floor. Some people even make it fun, like the group pictured, who decided to create a cycling echelon/multiple vehicle pile-up during a group shopping trip.
Come As You Are
This is the kind of person late Nirvana vocalist Kurt Cobain was thinking of when he wrote the song Come As You Are. Most Walmart customers fall in Cobain’s spectrum friends, enemies, and memoria. While the retailer is nonchalant about its customers’ dress sense, this is not the same for staff.
Walmart has a strict dress code for employees: brown khaki pants, plain colored shirts, and branded waistcoat. They had loosened this in recent years, first allowing staff with physically demanding roles to wear T-shirts, and most recently in 2018, when they allowed staff to wear solid blue colored jeans as well as a solid colored shirt/t-shirt of their choice.
Is It Too Late To Say Sorry?
It’s nice to see a shopper at least acknowledge their mess and apologize for it. Although there are a few questions about this situation: Firstly, what if this was a secret shopper testing efficiency of the cleaning staff? The message could’ve been a test to see if the team gawk and take photos or clean up immediately.
Also, where is the rest of the sugar? Even the smallest bag has more sugar in it than that. So did this shopper pay for what didn’t spill? Also, how long did the staff gawk and take photos before the mess was cleaned up?
Secret Napper
Remember when we mentioned that the average Walmart store is 105,000 square feet? Now imagine being a staff member (as pictured in his single-colored jeans and shirt), who has to traverse this distance regularly for at least eight hours a day. You’re bound to crash and burn at some point.
It’s still a bit much to sleep under the iPhone Accessories, there is the bed and mattress department after all, but more pertinently, all full shift staff gets two 15-minute breaks and a one-hour lunch break. This staff member was clever though, sleeping under the iPhone 5c accessories, a phone that didn’t sell well and hence won’t get any requests.
You Need A License For That
So assuming he is fishing in those fish tanks, we have to wonder, did he get the one day ($11), three day ($19), or annual ($40) fishing license from Walmart? Not that it matters since none of the fish in those tanks are the regulation keeping size of 12-inches.
After this photo was taken, Walmart decided to stop selling pet fish, clearing all their stores of them by October 2019. Besides, we can see this guy is just having fun; there isn’t even a hook, line or sinker on that rod.
What To Do When The Kids Get Bored
We’ve established why shoppers use motorized carts. The stores are massive and take a toll on the elder and disabled. But what about children? Yes, they’re young and should physically handle it. But kids will be kids, and between their attention span and need to be entertained, spending hours in a Walmart can take its toll.
Just don’t solve the problem using the method in the picture. Walmart staff are known to report parents for child abuse. While it’s unconfirmed if it happened in this case, they had one such report in 2016 when a Tennessee woman was charged with Child abuse after being reported by a Walmart store manager.
Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do
So clearly these guys are going to play good cop bad cop with whoever they’re about to catch. That’s assuming, of course, that the person in question is between 18 and 65 years old and stole items valued at $25 or more.
In 2006 Walmart implemented this policy, falling in line with common practice. So if you get caught stealing a pair of generic Bluetooth headphones costing $19, you get off with a warning, but if you take a 16gb flash drive costing $29, you’re getting arrested for theft. We just wonder what happens if your under 18 or over 65?
Best Loophole Ever!
If this is a staff member, then they may have found the best loophole in Walmart’s dress code policy. According to the manual at Walmart, leggings are banned in the dress code, sweatpants, overalls, wind suits, yoga pants, scrubs, spandex pants, or long pants that drag on the floor. It also bans prints, leather, distressed materials, white stitching, and patches.
Everyone’s Getting A Selfie!
When the children get bored, and there’s still lots of shopping to do, what’s your solution? Leave them among their favorite things… toys. With a plethora of toys and tech under one roof, this is the easiest solution to keep them occupied for at least an hour or two.
Looking After The Boys In Blue
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Walmart is going the extra mile by opening an hour early and setting aside the hours between 7 am, and 8 am for those most vulnerable to the virus: First responders like police, paramedics and state troopers as well as the elderly.
Just Chilling Out
You can find practically anything at Walmart, even a customer “chilling” in the meat cooler. To be fair, it could’ve been hot on this day, or this customer could be using this unique method to reserve her right to all this meat.
Don’t Fret, I Have A Ferret
So we’ve been through the no pets accept for service animal policy. But we didn’t mention that some Walmart stores may be more lenient than others regarding this policy. Some store managers will take into account the kind of pet you bring.
Thanks For Oversharing
They say the clothes maketh the man. But we doubt this guy wants to be known as the guy who farted while you were reading the message on his t-shirt. Come to think of it, it’s surely not possible for him to fart every time someone read his t-shirt.
The Struggle Is Real
So we’ve been through staff members sleeping on the job, but what about customers sleeping in the shop? Yes, it’s tiring shopping at Walmart, taking the size of the stores into account. But this guy hasn’t even done much shopping and probably decided to do some early morning shopping, only to give in to his need for sleep.
A Hairy Situation
So we get it, hair loss is a big hit to a man’s pride, and sometimes, you want to keep just a little bit on your head to remind you of the time you had a full head of hair. But there are better ways of going about this. One of which is to get a wig.
Harley Quinn Runs This Walmart
With all of the blockbuster comic book films doing the rounds these days, Character costumes have become popular, and not just for Comic Con. Harley Quinn from the Batman comics is one of the most popular ones. She was a major character in two highly anticipated films: Suicide Squad (2016) and Birds Of Prey (2019).
At Walmart, You can get various styles of Harley Quinn costumes ranging from the ones in the recent movies to the classic suit from the comic book, like in the picture. We don’t know if you’d want to wear out of the store, or on any other day but Halloween.
Keep It Moving Dad
Does this little girl want to help with the shopping, make her dad shop faster so she can get home, or is this just a fun game to keep her occupied during the shopping trip? What’s concerning is why what looks like a perfectly non-disabled man is riding a motorized cart reserved for the elderly and disabled.
Also, wouldn’t it have more fun if the child rode in the cart? That would be a valid reason for using a cart. Either way, as long as he didn’t put the cart in reverse while she was behind it, that would’ve been disastrous.
A Mother’s Improvisation
With many 24-hour stores across America, it’s not surprising to find people popping into Walmart at all hours to do some much-needed shopping. But what is a parent to do when they have small children? Well, bring them along, of course.
But you can’t keep little Tommy awake forever, and if he needs to take a nap during the late night/early morning shopping trip, then you need to get innovative, like this mother and her shopping cart bed. In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, Walmart has slashed the opening times of its 24-hour stores, running from 6 am to 11 pm.
Walking Around With A Gator Aid?
Are alligators service pets? Hell no. But do you want to be the person to tell this customer he can’t come in with his pet Alligator? Despite common perception, Alligators aren’t dangerous man-eaters, though. They’re passive around humans, and would rather flee if pretending to be a log didn’t work.
This customer should still be worried, though. his current alligator is just a baby. By the time it’s all grown up, it could be as long as 13 feet and weigh upwards of 1,500lbs. He’ll never be able to fit it through a Walmarts door, hell it may not allow him out of the house anymore.
Vampire In Walmart
There’s no sidestepping this; it’s a strange image. But before you say this person needs to be committed, consider that she may belong to a unique vampire subculture. That’s right, There’s a vampire subculture, and no, they’re not a bunch of centuries-old Romanian counts, and also, no, they don’t drink blood.
These vampires are fully human and say they passively feed on spiritual energy, which is why they’re called vampires incidentally. They dress up in period clothing, fangs and all, but don’t kidnap people for their blood. Instead, they buy portable DVD’s at Walmart to watch TV in their coffins… we mean cars.
Cat’s Not Out Of The Bag
We bet this customer hasn’t watched the Netflix series Don’t F*$k With Cats. If he did, he would know that this is picture does not look good for his feline friend. In the Netflix docu-series, a group of cat-loving internet sleuths band together to catch a man in a video who suffocates a cat.
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It’s always Christmas time at Walmart, especially with all the low prices and exclusive deals that are par for the course at the retailer. But the retailer also runs some other special deals on Christmas day. With up to 60% off on anything from big-screen TVs to laptops, if you can up with an excuse for late gifts, you’ll be the best gift-giver with these deals.
Bed Head
With diapers, baby growers, and a Batman mask, you can tell this customer is readying a baby’s room. But with not much space in the cart, the most important item in a bedroom is being carried most unusually.
Heady carrying is practiced around the world and is still commonly practiced in Africa and India by men and women in rural communities. While this woman seems to be fine carrying the mattress on her head, she had other options. Walmart does provide flatbed pushcarts for large items and has a system where you don’t need the item on hand to pay for it.
I Have Eyes behind My Head
Everyone knows Post Malone, a famous musician with tattoos in his face. This Walmart customer went even more extreme, though, having a face tattooed on the back of his head. Maybe he wants to scare his children by literally having eyes behind his head. Perhaps he was young and impulsive when he got it.
He Just Asked Me For Directions
COVID-19 has the world changing how it operates, and that’s no different for Walmart, where you are encouraged to wear a mask and even gloves for your safety. Given those rules, the suite the gentleman in the image is wearing is probably the safest outfit you can find.
Nobody Loves Shopping More Than Grandpa
Although Walmart doesn’t offer many discounts for senior citizens, Grandpa will still love shopping there. That’s because even without discounts, Walmart is still more cost-effective than most other retailers. In a comparative shopping test done by Clark.com in June 2019, when comparing the same shopping list between Walmart and Target, Walmart was nearly $7 cheaper.
It may not seem like much, but that saving is enough to allow grandpa to buy all of the accessories on the wheelchair in this image. Plus, he and other grand people are getting their hour to shop without any other people in the store, except for Walmart staff, of course.
